Jersey Shore Massacre Blu-ray Review

The video transfer of "Jersey Shore Massacre" on Blu-ray presents a notably paradoxical case of high production value offset by suboptimal encoding choices. Utilizing MPEG-2 compression, a format largely abandoned by the industry in favor of advanced codecs like AVC and VC-1, this release seems to be a near-port of its DVD counterpart—a decision that undercuts the capabilities of the Blu-ray format. Despite this, the 1080p digitally-shot image (possibly using Red cameras) maintains a decent visual quality. Characters, costumes, and physical details remain prominently visible, with black levels and color reproduction, ranging from natural to quite bold, navigating the limitations imposed by the dated codec. The aspect ratio fluctuates between 2.32:1 for the main film and 1.78:1 for embedded content, further indicating a discrepancy in presentation consistency.

While Attack Entertainment's initial foray into Blu-ray production does showcase rookie missteps, certain technical aspects offer redemption. The decision to utilize a BD-50 disc, although not fully capitalized upon, affords an average bitrate of 24.93 Mbps—a figure that suits digitally-acquired material but might've been better leveraged with a more efficient codec for less compression. The image is notably vibrant and crisp, displaying warm and consistent flesh tones amidst bright and bold colors. Even with some black crush and graininess in darker scenes attributed to DVD-level encoding artifacts, the absence of significant noise or other visual artifacts speaks to competent cinematography by Jay Shropshire.

Ultimately, while "Jersey Shore Massacre" on Blu-ray employs a rudimentary approach that fails to fully exploit modern technological advancements, it delivers a sufficiently clear and engaging viewing experience for fans. However, this release underscores the necessity for independent studios to adopt current standards if they aim to meet discerning expectations of the Blu-ray audience.

The audio presentation of "Jersey Shore Massacre" on Blu-ray is underwhelming, predominantly utilizing lossy Dolby Digital 5.1 at a DVD-standard rate of 448 kbps and reverting to a stereo track unless manually adjusted to 5.1. This calls into question the commitment to high-quality production standards that Blu-ray audiences expect. Achieving a more immersive experience would necessitate re-encoding master tracks in lossless formats such as PCM 5.1, Dolby TrueHD 5.1, or DTS-HD MA 5.1. Without these enhancements, it diminishes the overall worthiness of the Blu-ray purchase.

From a technical perspective, the sound dynamics are noticeably unimpressive. The audio often comes across as garbled or peaky, with frequent occurrences interrupting an otherwise decent baseline. The low-frequency extension is barely utilized, displaying minimal subwoofer activity. Surround sound presentation is sparse, with negligible ambiance or music emanating from the rear speakers, which results in a less dynamic and engaging listening experience. Dialogue reproduction suffers from being muffled and frequently peaks, making it difficult to fully grasp conversations.

Given the soundtrack’s no-frills approach, it's clear there was minimal effort put into the audio mastering process. The dialogue is shrill, the score by David James Rosen feels synthetic, and overall, the auditory elements are delivered in a manner fast and cheap. Enhancements through lossless audio might not drastically improve the intrinsic quality but would at least demonstrate a greater commitment to delivering a superior Blu-ray experience.

The extras on the Blu-ray release of "Jersey Shore Massacre" provide a mixture of behind-the-scenes content and additional multimedia that may excite fans of the film. The standout feature is the Behind the Scenes documentary which offers viewers an engaging look at the chaotic and enjoyable atmosphere on set, including notable impressions by actress Danielle Dallacco. Other extras include extended scenes, often humorously depicting failed musical attempts and unpolished performances, contributing to the tongue-in-cheek tone that permeates the film. While the technical features of the disc present all content in standard definition, this should suffice for audiences seeking more insight into the making of this cult favorite rather than high-definition clarity.

Extras included in this disc:

• Fat Camp Massacre (Part 1): A mock horror film excerpt watched by characters in the movie.
• Behind the Scenes: Documentary offering a more entertaining glimpse into the film's creation.
• Italian Ice Melt: Full-length music performance by a character from the movie.
• Bigfoot Unmedicated: Actor's voicemails compiled post-shooting.
• Coming Soon: Trailer for "Girls Gone Dead".
• Kingnyne Outta My Head: Music video from the film's soundtrack.

"Jersey Shore Massacre" is an attempt to milk the notoriety of MTV's "Jersey Shore" cast by plunging them into the horror comedy genre. Directed by Paul Tarnopol, the film flaunts a direct-to-video aesthetic that feels more like an homage to low-budget reality TV with roots in adult entertainment. Performances are over-the-top and wooden, while the jokes fall flat amidst a backdrop of clichéd character stereotypes. Despite sporadic moments of decent makeup effects by Cat Bernier, including scenes of violence involving a wood chipper, Tarnopol’s inadequate setups and poor framing undercut any potential impact.

The narrative kicks off with a trio of wise guys encountering a figure tied to the Jersey Devil legend before shifting to the film's primary focus—six guidettes led by Teresa (Danielle Dallacco) and Dina (Angelica Boccella). Their weekend at the Jersey Shore turns awry when their rental house gets double-booked. Consequently, they relocate to a secluded estate owned by Teresa’s Uncle Vito. This setup consumes the first forty minutes with tedious interactions, making the audience endure an extended buildup before the horror finally kicks in. Unfortunately, the cast’s grating personas and the overextended, uninspired comedy make this an arduous viewing experience.

Key plot points include encounters with strange neighbors and half-hearted horror scenarios, culminating in predictable and unimpressive anguish. The killer's identity twist is hurried and poorly communicated, robbing it of any potential surprise. The film's dialogue even reduces motive to "It's a Jersey thing," a flippant remark that underscores its weak storytelling. Overall, "Jersey Shore Massacre" might have served as a timely exploitation piece at the height of "Jersey Shore" fame, but its delayed release and lackluster execution leave it as a forgettable entry in the slasher-comedy genre.

Having made fair sport of Jersey Shore Massacre, I have to offer a confession. I put the Blu-ray into the player late at night fully expecting to fall asleep while watching, so that I'd have to rewatch some part of it the next day. Instead, I remained alert for the entire running time. Like the TV show that inspired it, the film is weirdly fascinating in its awfulness, like one of John Waters' early works (but with far more pretension) or prestige trash like Showgirls (but with far less). In years gone by, it's the kind of thing I might have watched with a group of intoxicated friends while we all yelled at the TV screen. That doesn't make it a good movie, but it's something. I don't offer that as a recommendation. What consenting adults watch in the privacy of their own home is between them and their Blu-ray player.

Not only is this a terrible movie, but its a complete cheat of a Blu-ray release.  There is no hiding the fact that this is the same exact thing as the DVD edition just printed on a Blu-ray disc.  If you’re interested in this movie at all (I’m sure there’s some kind family members of the cast and crew that want to show their support), don’t bother buying this release.  Just get yourself a copy of the DVD edition and save some cash as its the exact same thing.  Maybe this film caught me on a bad day, but I just could not get into anything being served to me.  And the fact that this really isn’t a Blu-ray is kind of insulting too.

"Jersey Shore Massacre" on Blu-ray retains an odd magnetism found in its nonsensical chaos, echoing early John Waters' films but with exaggerated pretention. The allure feels similar to watching prestige trash like "Showgirls" – bizarre yet captivating in its dreadfulness. Despite its messy execution, it has a peculiar charm that might keep audiences bizarrely entertained through its runtime.

However, this release proves deeply disappointing on a technical level. The Blu-ray edition offers no discernible upgrade from its DVD counterpart, merely repackaging the same content without enhancements, which feels like an affront to consumers. Those supporting cast and crew may want to save money by opting for the DVD version instead.

Conclusively, while "Jersey Shore Massacre" might weirdly enthrall some viewers in its absurdity, the Blu-ray release fails to justify its existence or price tag. The film's fascination doesn't equate to endorsement, emphasizing that what viewers choose to experience in their own spaces is solely their prerogative.