Santa Claus Conquers the Martians Blu-ray Review

Kino's Blu-ray release of "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" represents a mixed bag, focusing on technical improvements while grappling with inherent source material limitations. The video is presented in 1080p/AVC-encoded transfer within a 1.37:1 aspect ratio, diverging from the film's original 1.85:1 format due to the use of a 16mm answer print intended for television broadcast. While this might not satisfy purists, it results in the most complete version of the film to date. Despite the fair condition of the print, it exhibits various artifacts, including white and black specks, vertical scratches, and occasional brightness and color fluctuations. The overall image remains soft, characteristic of 16mm sources, yet there's notable improvement in high definition clarity.

Unfortunately, the experience is marred by persistent issues that might deter some viewers. The transfer suffers from pervasive grime, scratches, and unbearable light flickering, with the initial scenes plagued by an undulating black spot. The absence of digital noise reduction and edge enhancement preserves the film's authentic look but exposes its imperfections. Despite efforts to maintain the Martian greens and Christmas reds, viewers may find the overall presentation hazy with an ongoing battle against source noise.

Ultimately, Kino's Blu-ray release does what it can given the circumstances surrounding this cult classic. It doesn't reach modern standards but represents a significant leap from previous DVD renditions. This iteration caters to those seeking the best available version of the film, though it's far from flawless.

The DTS-HD Master Audio mono track of "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" presents a mixed listening experience, characterized by evident age and source-related issues. Listeners will encounter an array of auditory artifacts such as splice pops, crackles, and low hissing, which are characteristic of older source materials. The dialogue, while discernible, often carries a husky and muddy timbre with mid-heavy qualities. Despite these limitations, the track remains listenable, and clarity is generally maintained, allowing viewers to follow the movie without significant issues. However, it is worth noting that no subtitle options are available.

Moreover, the overall soundscape of this Blu-ray release suffers from a tinny and hollow quality, with poorly mixed sound effects and garbled dialogue intermittently masked by the movie’s music. Some lines of dialogue are particularly challenging to understand due to their subpar fidelity. Nevertheless, the thematic elements, including the distinctly 1960s theme song, are preserved in their entirety, offering a nostalgic touch. While the track frequently exhibits a muddled mix and periodic interference, it suffices for an entry in this particular era of cinematic audio presentation.

The extras section of the Blu-ray for "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" offers a delightful array of holiday-themed content that enhances the festive experience. Noteworthy is the collection of vintage Christmas shorts titled Santa's Cool Holiday Film Festival, which includes a Kodak camera commercial, a Christmas message from Shari Lewis and Lambchop, and the Max Fleischer cartoon, "Christmas Comes But Once A Year." This blend of nostalgic clips is perfect for holiday gatherings. Additionally, a high-definition stills gallery and the original trailer are available to complete the package.

Extras included in this disc:

• Santa's Cool Holiday Film Festival: An eclectic mix of Christmas-themed shorts including commercials and vintage cartoons.
• Trailer: The original trailer of the film.
• Stills Gallery: A collection of high-definition stills from the film.

"Santa Claus Conquers the Martians," a 1964 low-budget film, exemplifies the "so bad it's good" genre. Notorious for its ineptitude in plot, acting, and special effects, it has morphed into a cult classic over the decades, especially post its feature on "Mystery Science Theater 3000" in 1991. The film’s charm lies in its absurdity and unintentional humor. The Martian children, obsessed with Earth’s television, prompt their parents to concoct a plan to kidnap Santa Claus, believing he can instill happiness in their otherwise somber lives.

From technical perspectives, this new Blu-ray edition by Kino-Lorber offers an improved visual and auditory experience compared to the previous shoddy releases, though it is by no means pristine. The opening theme song "Hooray for Santy Claus" performed by a children's choir is surprisingly catchy. The Martian costumes and set pieces are endearingly primitive, like the aluminum pipe legs worn by Torg the robot. The portrayal of childish naivety and over-the-top incompetence in the characters adds to the film's unintentional hilarity, making it bearable only during a communal viewing with ample wisecracks.

The story follows Martian leaders consulting an ancient sage, deciding to kidnap Santa. It features melodramatic sequences like earth children hiding from a man in a shabby polar bear suit or encountering a budget-friendly robot. Each scene escalates in absurdity, epitomized by sabotaged toys emerging from a machinated factory.

In essence, "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" serves as quintessential camp entertainment. It lacks cinematic finesse but provides an opportunity for a rollicking good time, particularly with friends who appreciate delightfully poor filmmaking.

The Blu-ray release of "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" delivers this infamous holiday cult classic in a manner that preserves its charming absurdity while trying to justify its place in classic film collections. The story is ludicrous—a campy blend of sci-fi and seasonal cheer—but for aficionados of so-bad-it’s-good cinema, it hits all the right notes. This edition offers a noticeable improvement over previous home video offerings, although it still can't disguise the limited budget and technical shortcomings inherent in the original production.

From a technical standpoint, the Blu-ray transfer is a mixed bag. It showcases a sharper and more colorful presentation than previous DVD releases, which helps highlight the film's kitschy 1960s aesthetics. However, inconsistencies in image quality and occasional print damage are evident. The audio fares similarly, capturing the film’s tinny score and dialogue with acceptable clarity but falling short of modern standards. This isn’t a film you watch for its audiovisual prowess; it’s an experience that thrives on its nostalgic camp.

There are a few films that will forever live in so-bad-it's-great infamy, and "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians"—a dippy, low-budget holiday cult classic—is definitely one of them. No one would ever mistake this for a good movie; most of the comedy here is strictly unintentional. But the non-stop absurdity and sappy Christmas spirit make this a must-watch around this time of year. Do yourself a favor: invite a few friends over, make some rum/eggnog/nutmeg cocktails, put on "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians," and commence with the Mystery Science Theater-style remarks. Weirdly recommended!